A Stocking Christmas!

This year wouldn't be complete without a post about Ryder's first Christmas - our last name is Stocking after all!

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday but this year's festivities were all the more special because we were able to share it with Ryder. From decorating the house to looking at Christmas lights, making tamales and baking cookies, to shopping for presents and listening to Christmas carols - how fun it was to expose Ryder to all of the treasures this time of year holds. Yet why this season is really special is because of what it truly represents. - the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ! Jesus' Birthday! 

Since Ryder's ear tube surgery last month things have significantly improved. Prior to his surgery, Ryder spent a lot of the day crying and fussing.  There were some days he would just cry and cry until he eventually wore himself out. Being a new mommy I had no idea what to do and what an emotional roller coaster I was on. Most days we'd both end the evening in tears. Now that Ryder's ear tubes are in I have a brand new child before me - totally happy, always smiling and no more crying for hours on end. If I think about it too much my heart starts to break. To think my little Ryder Jeremiah was in some sort of pain and discomfort and all that crying was his way of communicating to me "it hurts mommy!" Ugh! So heart wrenching! I wish we could have scheduled the ear tube surgery for sooner but with Ryder's feeding issues, lip surgery prep and recovery, getting the ear tubes at 4 months was really the soonest we could do it - it truly has been a non-stop roller coaster and I'm happy to say it's finally come to a stop....for now. 

On December 20th we met with Ryder's ENT for a check up on his ears and hearing. So far, no ear infections (yay!) and his hearing will need to be retested in 3-6 months. Praying for a full recovery on Ryder's ears and that he'll pass his hearing test. I'm also praying for no ear infections! Cleft babies are prone to ear infections so praying Ryder avoids those as much as possible. 

In the midst of this Christmas season Ryder celebrated his 5 month birthday. Where has the time gone? Ryder's able to roll over, hold his bottle, learning to sit up on his own and has even explored his walker for a minute or two.  He's also starting to teeth (ouch!)  My baby is growing up too fast! Next month we start Ryder on solid foods - that should be an interesting experience. Cleft babies tend to struggle with transitioning from fluids to solids because of their opened palate - food gets everywhere. But at least he'll get to explore new textures, tastes and work his mouth muscles differently which should all help with speech. I'm also happy to report that Ryder officially sleeps through the night! It's absolutely wonderful and I'd never thought I say this but sometimes I miss those middle-of-the-night feeds.  With each milestone we reach comes excitement with a twinge of sadness - my baby is growing before my very eyes! We have yet to transition Ryder to his crib (he's still sleeping in his Rock 'n sleep) but we're hoping to get some use out of that beautiful crib vey soon :) 

As I reflect on this holiday season I can't help but love our Lord even more as having a son has allowed me to further appreciate the birth of Jesus. A perfect baby boy, given to this world so that we might have eternal life. The most precious gift of all!  May this resonate in my heart not just during the Christmas season but all year round! 

What a wonderful first Christmas we had as a family of three. I pray for many more holiday seasons with our precious Ryder Jeremiah and who knows.... maybe next year there will be another stocking to hang! 

Learning to dance in the rain!

As we close out 2013 I have mixed emotions. I'm very happy to see this year conclude for so many reasons. It's been a journey since....

March 7 - the day of my 20 week ultrasound when Ryder's cleft was identified.  

July 10-17 - after spending 9 months of never being apart Ryder had to spend 7 days in the NICU. 

September 25 - Mom called to tell me she had to have surgery (I put the puzzle pieces together after we hung up the phone - Mom had cancer). 

October 4 - Ryder's lip surgery. 

October 8 - Mom's surgery. 

November 5 - Mom's first day of chemotherapy. 

November 26 - Ryder's ear tube surgery. 

These days I'm happy to see go - GOODBYE days and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more! 

All those days in between? I'm sad to see go. All those days I spent crying and worrying instead of loving in the moment - thanking God for that second of breath where I was surrounded with His love, goodness and grace. If there's one thing I've learned this year, it's to be thankful for the little things - from warm blankets on my bed to my heart beating. From gas in my car to the bills getting paid. From health insurance to cover our many medical expenses to the team of doctors who have entered our lives via our precious Ryder (even if I don't always like what they have to say). 

As we begin 2014 I pray that I take the lessons learned from 2013 and use them as tools to help me savor every second of this upcoming year. This year does not promise all things easy and perfect but it does promise days filled with choices to live, love and be happy in the little things. 

It's going to continue being a journey over the next few months - mom still has 4 more months of chemotherapy, Ryder still has a gazillion doctor appointments and his palate sugery is only 7 months away but all those days in between? Why they're filled with God's love, grace and goodness and I'm determined to see the sunshine on cloudy days. To not just wait for the storm to pass but to learn to dance in the rain! 

Thank you Lord for allowing us to see a new year approach! And although there are a lot of unknowns this year we pray that we see your love and goodness in ALL things! May we glorify you in everything we do and may you always be the focus of our life - even if we don't always feel you near. And when those storms hit, can you promise to dance with me so I don't feel all alone on the dance floor?  Thank you and AMEN! 

Do you hear what I hear?

I've done a poor job of posting updates lately but what a month it has been!  Ryder had his first visit with Mr. & Mrs. Claus as well as his first ear surgery and we also visited the NICU to show Ryder where he spent his first 7 days of life. 

On November 17 we, along with my sissies and Ryder's cousins, all went to Bass Pro Shops for our annual visit with Santa. It's so great to build memories with my sisters and Ryder's cousins - to have these photos as precious reminders of such special days. Ryder did great and didn't even cry when we woke him from his stroller nap for his very first visit with Santa! 

On Saturday, November 23 we went back to CHOC of Mission Viejo's NICU to visit and thank all of the wonderful nurses who were so loving and gracious to us during Ryder's week-long stay after he was born. I must admit that my stomach kind of dropped taking that walk from the elevator to the unit but I just had to remind myself that we were there for a simple visit and not a stay. 

During Ryder's stay there was a very special nurse who entered our lives and we pray she never leaves, her name is Ann. Throughout life, there are some people you meet that you just know, the instant you meet them, that they're very special. Nurse Ann is one of them and words cannot begin to describe how comforting she was during Ryder's NICU stay. She made what was a very difficult time all the easier through her love and encouragement and she's officially become Aunt Ann to us! I'm convinced she's an angel in disguise working in the NICU - how wonderful is God?! Another whisper to remind us He's present in ALL things! Here's a pic of Ryder with Aunt Ann. 

On Tuesday, November 26 Ryder had his first ear surgery at 7am near CHOC of Orange. Ryder did well but mommy did some tear shedding. I was doing okay until we had to dress him in his little hospital gown - my heart just broke. Oh how I wish I could take his place! One thing that put me at ease was nurse Monique! Not only is Monique a fabulous nurse but she is also a very near and dear friend of our family! I've known Monique for years and when we scheduled Ryder's ear sugery and Monique told me she would be the one carrying Ryder back to surgery I was so comforted! I'm continuously in awe when I see God's fingerprints ever present throughout our journey! 

Here are some pictures of Ryder and Aunt Monique on the morning of Ryder's ear surgery. 

Here are pics of Ryder with Dr. Pham right before sugery and Ryder being carried into sugery by Aunt Monique. This is the moment that always breaks my heart - hearing my baby cry as he's being carried away. 

After 15 minutes Ryder was out of sugery and we were able to see and feed him right away! 

So far his recovery has been slow but steady. He seems to be less fussy and definitely responds to sounds differently. He failed his hearing test prior to surgery and we're hoping the ear tubes will improve his hearing - we will know for sure when he's re-tested on December 20. Praying for a passing grade! Now that we have 2 surgeries down, we gear up for the palate surgery that should take place around Ryder's first birthday in July 2014.  

We're looking forward to enjoying the next few months of celebrating life, surgery-free, and watching Ryder continue to grow, explore and blossom right before our very eyes! Oh how blessed we are to call him OURS! 

4 months old!

My baby is growing up before my very eyes! Ryder turned 4 months on Sunday and this is the best age! He's so interactive and likes to explore everything! He especially likes checking himself out in the mirror - it's adorable! Ryder also sleeps through most of the night and Ryan and I are so excited to finally get more than 3-4 hours of sleep. Here are some pics of Ryder and Chester the bear on Ryder's 4 month birthday! 

We met with the ENT doctor this past week and Ryder gets his first set of ear tubes on November 26 at 7am. Please pray for a quick recovery for Ryder and that his ears won't hurt post surgery. 

Ryder's lip continues to heal. He still has some stitches on the inside of his nose that get boogies stuck on them (not fun for mommy) but they don't seem to bother him. 

Yesterday, while I accompanied my mom to a chemo session, Ryan stayed home from work to watch Ryder (my husband is wonderful). I returned home to find my son dressed up in this....

Gotta love father/son time! 

Looking forward to this first holiday season with our little man! We are so full of joy with him in our lives that it's difficult to imagine our lives without him - it truly is a wonderful life!