My baby elephant!

Today was Ryder's first visit to the pumpkin patch and he was dressed as his favorite animal - an elephant! 

Such a small outing but such a big step for us. For several reasons, we never really took Ryder out in public prior to his lip surgery. He was a newborn, we needed to keep him healthy so he could have his first surgery without any delays but mostly because of the stares we would get from people. Usually it was an inquisitive stare or glance but it still made running to the grocery store a bit of an experience. Most of the time we kept Ryder covered in his car seat but people would still sneak in a glimpse, followed by an immediate look of shock on their face. I wanted to shout "it's just a cleft lip people and it's NOT contagious!" People just aren't used to seeing babies with clefts and we completely understood that so we avoided most outings as much as possible. That's why today's outing was SO special to us! We showed off our baby elephant to anyone who wanted a glimpse! 

It's amazing how well his lip continues to heal! He still has stitches in his nose (you can see them through his nostrils if you look close enough) and he still has stitches on the inside of his lip but those should fall out within the next couple of weeks. Ryder is eating so well with his new lip and because he has less air coming through his mouth we don't have to burp him nearly as much. Which means his feeds are only 30-45 minutes compared to the 1-1.5 hour long feeds and burp sessions we'd have prior to surgery.  This makes mommy and daddy really happy - especially during the middle of the night. Speaking of middle of the night, Ryder now goes 4 to 5 hours in between feeds allowing us to catch a few more zzz's. It's wonderful! The other night Ryder slept from 11:30pm to 5:45am. I kept waking up to make sure he was breathing because he's never gone that long. Ryder is still sleeping in his Rock 'n Sleep cradle next to our bed but we plan on transitioning him to his crib within the next month or so (if mommy can go through with it). 

Here are more pictures from today. We are blessed beyond words by our precious baby boy! 

My boys, my blessings!

Ryder is officially back! His personality is bursting at the seems and he's full of nothing but smiles and laughter....and a little crying, too.

Just last night daddy and him were having some giggle time and I couldn't help but post these pictures as I think they summarize the moment quite well. 

My husband has been such an incredible partner throughout this entire journey. He's been strong, patient, encouraging, loving, supportive and has taken full control in the moments when I was too much of a mess to be of help. This journey has been easier because I've had him by my side. I thank God for him every day as he's a true answer to so many prayers! 

Ryder saw the doctor this past week and he said his lip is healing quite nicely! Ryder will have some scar tissue removed and some nostril reconstructive surgery around the age of 3 or 4 but until then his lip/mouth will continue to grow and develop. He starts speech therapy soon and we're in the process of scheduling his first set of ear tubes. 

What a difference two weeks makes! 

One week later....

My mommy and Ryder - pre-surgeries....

It's been one week since Ryder had his sugery and what a difference a week makes! His lip is healing incredibly fast, his stitches are falling out (they dissolve on their own) and he's kinda back to his normal schedule - with the exception of sleeping.  He's never been a fan of sleeping and would rather have us walk him around the house at all hours of the night. Ryan and I have become pretty good at sleep walking :)

Our hearts are overwhelmed with the outpouring of phone calls, text messages, meals and visits we've received since Ryder's surgery. We are continuously amazed at the support system God set in place for us as He knew it would be needed. For those of you who may not know my mom was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer and has been in the hospital for the past week (she had surgery 3 days after Ryder's surgery). I was a total wreck not being able to have my mom by my side throughout his recovery all while digesting her new journey and wanting to be there for her as well. Having you all surround us with love has really made an incredible difference!  I can literally feel God's loving arms wrap around me through each and every one of you!  I am in awe of all the suppport, kindness and encouragement we have received (and continue to receive) that the words "thank you" couldn't possibly express all of the gratitude I have for your unconditional love! God is so good! 

My sisters and I have created a blog for mom. I invite you to join us in prayer and follow us on her journey as we know she will conquer this cancer and be victorious! 

Mom's blog:

http://weareconquerers.blogspot.com/?m=1

Since his surgery Ryder has been talking up a storm! It's fun to hear all the different sounds he can now make with his new lip. I think he's also discovered he can make new sounds and after every meal gives us a full recap of how he's feeling with his "Oooh and ahhh" sounds. It's adorable and I'm pretty certain he's praising God with every sound he makes! 

Psalm 8:2 

"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger."

Next steps are ear tubes. We have to make an appointment with the ENT doctor to schedule this procedure but it can't be until Ryder's lip fully heals. They have to be able to put a mask over his mouth to administer the anesthesia. We're guessing this is going to be scheduled for some time in November. 

Below are a few pics from the week and just yesterday we celebrated Ryder's 3 month birthday! What a journey these past 3 months have been and I wouldn't trade a single moment of it for the world! I consider it such a privilege to be Ryder's mommy and I thank God for his little life that has filled our lives with so much joy, love and laugher! He truly is a perfect gift! 

James 1:17 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Consider it all Joy!

Baby Ryder was released from the hospital on Saturday, October 5th.  Thankfully, we only had to stay one night in the hospital but what a night that was! This journey has taken me to depths of feelings and emotions that I have never wanted to know but I will forever be a better mommy, daughter, sister, wife, and friend for it.   

When I saw baby Ryder for the first time, post-surgery, I immediately burst into tears. It was difficult for me to see my baby boy and not recognize him. His face all swollen, eyes barely open and mouth stitched from end to end. My heart broke and I began to grieve. I was grieving the loss of the baby I had loved from the second he was born. There was a different child before me and although he was the same - he was also very different. 

As a mommy, you yearn to protect your children. Keep them from all harm, pain and suffering. It's this instinctual desire that is unexplainable. I felt it and knew it from the second I found out I was pregnant with Ryder. It's a very difficult thing to look at your baby, hear him cry and see him suffer. But it's during these times that I have called out to God the loudest and hardest.  God is faithful, loving, all-knowing, all-powerful and I know that He's comforting Ryder in ways I'm not able to.  Ryder is God's child first and foremost and He's set Ryder apart before he was  in my womb. Reminding myself of Ryder's special verse, Jeremiah 1:5, brought me a bit of peace that was very much needed.  

I've asked God a few million times "Why?" and there are days when I'm sad and angry but that's just what the enemy wants and I will NOT let him steal my joy!  It's very easy to forget all of God's goodness when you're in the midst of a storm but that's when I start to count all of life's blessings and I am quickly reminded of my Father's agape love! He has blessed me with a perfect baby boy who has such inner JOY that when he smiles his eyes twinkle!  That is when this verse came to me - it was so loud I practically heard it shouted! 

James 1:2-3

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience."

That's when it hit me - if Ryder can smile with pure joy in the midst of this journey then why can't I?  My precious baby boy - already teaching mommy so many things! 

A new smile is birthed, a new lesson is learned! 

Ryder's getting better day by day! His swelling has gone down and he's slowly yet surely turning back into his normal self - talking up a storm, re-learning how to eat with his special bottle and keeping mommy and daddy right where he likes them.....wrapped around his little finger. And there's no other place I'd rather be! 

Day 1 -This hurts! 

Day 2 - I'm sleepy! 

On my way home....again! 

Day 3 - Look how well I can hold my head up!

Day 4 - I'm rock'n these special arm cuffs that keep me from touching my face. 

Sleeping peacefully! 

Road to Recovery....

It has been a very long day (which started  at 1:15am). We arrived at CHOC around 5:30am where mom and dad were waiting with Starbucks coffee and donuts. Pulling up to the hospital and seeing your mommy waiting for you immediately makes everything all better - it's amazing how mommy's do that. Their mere presence brings about a peace and comfort that is unexplainable! At the age of 31 years young my mommy still holds me when I cry and wipes away my tears - she's been doing a lot of that lately. 

Ryder's lip surgery went well and he is on the road to recovery. We ask for prayers as this has been very difficult on mommy and daddy and I'm sure even more difficult on baby Ryder - I wish his little mouth could tell us exactly what hurt and how we could make him "all better". I will post a detailed update soon but wanted to at least get pictures up of our precious baby boy! Holding strong to Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." God is good!

A waiting room full of love and support! 

Uncle Marcos, Mommy and Auntie Omi

Grandpa Stocking and Papa

Cleft Strong! Cleft mommies and bilateral buddies - Kelly and Francine

Rock'n the hospital gown!

Ryder's plastic surgeon - Doctor Prutsok

Recovery begins.....

Daddy makes me feel better!

Auntie Nee Nee knows how to take care of me! 

Auntie Nee Nee & Uncle John

Today, October 4th, is National Smile Day! I don't know that it was much of a smile day for mommy but new smiles were definitely made today!