Twinkle Eyes Peaking Through the Gates

I've been thinking a lot about baby December.  More hopeful thoughts than sad. More peaceful tears than aching. I know I will get to meet baby December one day, not on earth but in our Heavenly home! I can picture his or her little eyes peaking through those pearly gates as I'm dancing on those streets of gold being welcomed by Jesus! I imagine there are going to be a ton of people at those gates but I will know exactly who my baby is and as we make eye contact, tears of joy, love and happiness will flow like never before.....oh wait....I don't think there will be any tears in heaven, but maybe happy tears are allowed?  Either way, I can just picture his or her little twinkle eyes peaking through those pearly slats, just waiting to welcome me home! Oh how happy this makes me! Thank you Lord for giving me a hopeful heart about meeting our angel baby. 

It's amazing how many people I know who have experienced a similar loss. It's kind of like this secret society that no one talks about, let alone knows exists, until someone goes through it. So many friends and family members have love and encouraged me through my miscarriage, many of whom I had NO idea went through something similar. My heart aches for them. It aches in the same way my heart aches for other cleft mommies. It's an indescribable ache where words don't suffice. Whether your loss happened yesterday, last year or ten years ago, I know the ache in your heart that is always present, always in the back of your mind, sometimes triggered by that pregnant woman, newborn baby or child's laughter. We become mommies the minute we become pregnant and our hearts love no less just because we didn't get to hold our babies.  Just the oppiosite, I've learned to love deeper because of my loss and empty arms. To all those mommies of angel babies, I encourage you to have this same image in your head - may you picture those twinkle eyes peaking through those gates and may you be reminded that those eyes twinkle because they're in the presence of Jesus....oh how sweet that is!! 

Isaiah 55:8-9 

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."